Is it men we need to fight against?

feminism Sep 30, 2018
Today, supposedly, we who are card-carrying vagina-havers are supposed to black out our profile pictures to show men what the world would be like without women.
 
The Cavenaugh thing has exploded and once again, women "taking their power" seems to be a thing.
 
To be fair, I've only watched the news just enough to know that the people in power, who happen to have penis's, are moving their agenda forward in whatever way they can.
 
Riding on the back of #metoo, there's a thunderous energetic roar coming from mouths of women around the world: we will not be mistreated anymore!
 
Amin. Amen. You can't treat me that way. Ever. Yes.
 
And, as a card-carrying member of the other set of genitals, I'm really asking some different questions.
 
Are all men the enemies?
 
Is it really men who we need to fight?
 
I know men that abuse women.
And men that abuse men.
I know women that abuse women.
And women that abuse...
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Three days ago, I was someone else.

hiding Aug 24, 2018

I have gotten more messages in the last week than I think I ever have, thanking me for my videos and vulnerability.

But in the last few days, the messages have changed even more to note how much I've changed.

How much more me I am.

And I FEEL it.

I am different inside.

Three days ago, I made a different choice.

And I didn't travel to a big Access class or attend a 7-day.

I did six things:

  • I woke up feeling fucked up and asked myself if I wanted to live there or make a different choice.
  • I made a different choice, instead of staying that way all day.
  • I put on the audio of an Access class: Happiness is Just a Choice.
  • I really, really acknowledged just how fucking aware I really am.
  • I made the choice to have my reality of happiness no matter who was around me or what I was aware of.
  • I got to work.

Creating a totally different reality is a conversation I've heard since the moment I started listening to Access Consciousness stuff.

I totally didn't get it.

At first, I thought it meant...

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Wrong facilitator for you

Uncategorized Jul 30, 2018

 I caught myself today.

Trying to be 'right'.  The right facilitator for you.

Rightly conscious.  And successful so that you'll like me.  Approve of me.  Want to pay me.

I didn't know I was doing it.

It took an entirely unrelated chain of events to show me what I was choosing.

I had to look at 'death as my back door' to get there.   

But there it is.


Gary Douglas did a call the other day that he called The Contribution Call.

We all got really inspired pre-call and a few thousand of us jumped on live.

Gary, finally asking for contribution!!  Gary, saying that he was asking for something once that he would never ask for again, got all of us like... ????

And then it came out of his mouth: 

the biggest contribution we could be for him was to begin making the choices that created more consciousness.

Tears streamed down my face.

The gratitude that poured out of other people's mouths after he asked caused even more.

He wanted us to make...

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What's your easiest choice with money? Some? None? Less than that?

money Jul 02, 2018

I've been sort of walking around the house the last couple of days wondering about a person's easiest choice. 

Any person's. 
Yours.
His.
Mine. 

It's a phrase that Stephanie threw out there like it was everyday conversation a few months ago, and it's just been rolling around in my world.

"What's his easiest choice?"

"What's my easiest choice?"

It's a question where you 'want' to think that the answer to it is something 'good' but where the answer is usually something more along the lines of unhappiness.  Anger.  Poverty.  Despair.  Failure.

When I first started looking there, I truly didn't want to know what mine or anyone elses' easiest choices were.

Ugh!  Brutal!  Who wants to know that stuff?!

You can't un-see stuff after you see it and what was I going to do with all that awareness??

And anyway - isn't 'being positive' and 'asking for the possibilities' what we want to do here?

For what reason would we spend any time looking at all...

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What if endings were a beginning?

change endings Jun 14, 2018

I heard Gary Douglas use the phrase once, 'the gift of decay'.

And it struck me in a way few things had.

Having spent five full years as a landscape designer, I'd spent my fair share of them somewhere down in the dirt.  They were my favorite hours, bringing to life the lines on a page I'd drawn in an office somewhere, and getting to feel my hands in the cool dirt and taste the richness of Earth as it entered through my nose across my tongue.

That earth, that dirt, was a blend of dead things.  Bugs, leaves, branches, roots, things I've yet to name.  And the more in it that was already dead, the richer it became.

I never thought to compare myself and my life to dirt until today.

Yesterday, I spent a fair bit of the day looking for where I was wrong in changing all the things, and one in particular, until my sweet friend looked at me and called me out on it.

"You keep looking for where you're wrong!"

She was right.  

As much as I'd facilitated everyone and...

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What would you like to change?

Uncategorized May 23, 2018
The thing about starting to create your life is that no one can validate it for you.
 
Does creating *your* life ever feel like staring at a blank white wall that you've just been told that you can do *anything* with?
 
I have some very strange friends who think that is fun
 
But for a LONG time, I DREADED that blank wall.
 
I filled my time w/ jobs that I could both resist and follow, relationships that were at least predictable and safe, uniforms that gave me the one colour I knew was okay to wear....
 
SO many things that would give me the permission to not-choose.
 
The thing is that the longer I go - the more I travel - the more 'blank' the wall gets and the more I'm getting that all it takes to 'fill' it is to choose in that moment.
 
And then it clears itself and the next moment, I get to choose again.
 
And as we go, all of those choices create the future... and my life.
 
I had a really...
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the most epic money question ever

money May 09, 2018
 

I saw my mother for the first time in awhile yesterday.

And I went into it ready to... whatever!

But definitely ready to use the tools.

And one of the things I've been really practicing, when I'm around these super trigger-ish people for me, is staying in and having and choosing, my reality.

Now, that is an interesting practice, as my reality isn't solid or one thing, and it has nothing to do with stating my truth or any of that stuff.

It's an energetic practice, most of all.

A practice where I don't go into their head or their world, trying to find out where I'm wrong.

You know that moment?  When their face goes a little funny or the energy of the whatever changes, and all of a sudden you're in there, trying to sort out 'what went wrong'?

Which is always, always, always the place where you're trying to find what YOU did wrong?

Yea.  I stayed out of that.

And what I really practiced was just being with them.  Just as they are.  And being interesting point of...

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People can be dicks.

Uncategorized Apr 18, 2018
 
 Let's just say it.
 
And in Access, we talk a lot about being 'interesting point of view'.
 
Having allowance.
 
Being willing to be everything required to have what we desire.
 
We speak about when you resist and react to someone you are sticking in place a point of view just as dynamically as when you align and agree, and all of that takes you out of any kind of choice.
 
And yea yea yea, all of that is well and good -- UNTIL YOU'RE IN IT.
 
With the person.
 
Face to face with how they be in the world and how they treat people that you have POINTS OF VIEW about.
 
On top of that, a lot of us have come from abuse in our childhoods and have gotten to the point where THIS THING is no longer acceptable on our watch. And FUCK YOU if you're doing it.
 
I won't put up with it.
I won't tolerate it.
I will LEAVE YOU if you do it.
 
And wow. I get it.
 
And I used to...
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Is being nice killing all the good stuff? (read, you?!)

nice Apr 02, 2018

 

My life changes all the time.

I change clothes, underwear, points of view... and people.

I happen to have been with the same man for almost a year and a half now!  But even in the man department, there was awhile where two weeks was a long time.

We're in the process of changing some very key every-day relationships.

The thing that was working has stopped working, and we're in the breaking up phase: not exactly able to move on from our physically proxitive situation, and not incredibly interested (read, not at all) in relating to one another.

I can't tell you exactly what changed it.  Just more that, after a thing, it did.  Change.

And for me, it's been a few months of getting a whole TON more clarity on what is.

What is for me.  What is in regards to them. 

Seeing the is-ness instead of seeing the projection that someone else wants you to see or that I'd rather see.

So, you know - good, bad and ugly.

And this morning, after a 10-second interchange...

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the more I give away the more I make

business Feb 11, 2018

It was early when I opened her email this morning.

I recognized her email address from a comment that I'd received on my YouTube video the other day.  She was - is - a beautiful creator.  

Hi Christel!

I'm new to you, but have been enjoying some of your YouTube videos over the last couple of days.  One of those videos are your business accelerator.

Anyway, I wonder what your thought is related to offering too much free information out in the world - you do SoundCloud, a radio show, FB videos, youtube videos and so on - so that you're giving it all away and therefore not attracting people to sign up, because they're filled with all the free information offered?

I smiled when I read it and then answered with one line: 

The more I give away, the more I make.

Everything is the opposite of what it appears to be and nothing is the opposite of what it appears to be.

The more I do business my way the more I get how weird it is.  How weird I am. How...

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I'm so excited we get to stay in touch!

I wrote you a love letter with lots of links.  It will be like you subscribed to Netflix but with my face all over it.