Two days ago, I sent off a message that changed something I had been putting off changing for.... a while.
I had all kinds of reasons for putting it off.
I had all kinds of benefits from continuing to choose it that I would lose once I made a different choice, and all I had to do to keep those benefits coming in was choose to do more stuff that really wasn't that hard for me.
Truly, there were all the logical reasons for it not to change.
But when I asked the question: What would my life and future be like in the next 5 years if I changed it? It was incredibly light to change it.
This is the thing about following your awareness of the different future you know: it don't make no freaking sense. And on the outside it can seem... unkind. Self-centered.
I've been spending a lot of time lately looking at what I've been creating with my life. And then even more time looking at what I'd really like to be choosing.
I'd never looked at it so...
Body weight or more specifically, the needing to lose more of it, has been a conversation in our family for as long as I can remember.
My mom started her twenties with a baby, and after the birth of each one of us, there was always the post-baby weight conversation.
She gained more with this one and it was harder to lose after that one.
I literally can't even remember a moment where there wasn't a weight conversation.
I started going to Weight Watchers when I was like 14 because she did, and I thought it would be good to learn about this stuff now instead I was waiting until I was old like her.
Besides I'd always had a belly. I remember seeing pictures of myself at like 8 years old with my 8 year old belly sticking out and feeling jealous that my sister's never seemed to do that.
And so I learned about vegetables being 'zero points' and things like Wendy's burgers being just enough points to work and fit into a day as long as you ate 'zero...
The possibility of relationship is well, possible. However, a lot of us have gotten into a lot of "sticky" with our current relationships, and that's what I'd like to speak to.
See, for YEARS, I had no idea what worked for me. In fact, I would say I'm in the ongoing, active discovery of it still.
Prior to my Access Consciousness years, I was in two marriages back to back to eachtother, and in both relationships, the other person was wrong for different reasons. I felt like a sh*t for being upset all the time, but my reality was that I was upset all the time!
But let's look at upset objectively for a second. Put on your scientist glasses and let's discect it for a minute.
It can be:
Ok, so this blog is about business. But maybe I should be calling it the un-business blog.
You may have seen my Facebook rant the other day.... if you didn't, here you go.
I have really been taking my life apart. Piece by piece I've been looking at it.
Why is that number on my monthly list of "must have" moneys? Why do I want it? What does it give me?
Why am I in business for myself, anyway? Maybe I should just go work for someone else who's created something already. Easier, eh? Paycheck vs. hustle.
Well, and that's where it all started to break apart in an awesome way.
It kind of all started with this demand of myself that my business really skyrocket this year. Create income beyond anything I'd created before.
And so, like any good person looking for the answer to the "how", I bought into some classes that promised to show me. The how.
You might guess how that went.
First of all, I hate being told what to...
I suppose I'm maybe going through a mid-life crisis of sorts.
I have tears streaming down my face.
I just watched this:
I don't know what's going on with me lately.
I feel like I'm pulling away from the champagne bubbles of all the traveling and drinking prosecco and the jet-setting I was doing.
There is a huge gratitude I have right now for being home.
And since I've been home, there's been Standing Rock, and now Aleppo... and I've been faced with some really big questions.
I walked around this morning wondering what it was I truly wanted to create with my life.
With my willingness to let all the travel go temporarily, I wondered what else I could choose that I'd never considered.
My freshest thoughts being I could go to Aleppo, I thought! I could be a volunteer!
I could go to the refugee camps and run Bars and help coordinate aid.
And as I sit here writing this, with tears streaming, I'm destroying and uncreating everywhere I've been the war-monger. Everywhere...
"Living well and spending less."
When I was posting this video and tagging it, I found that tag.
And after pausing incredulously, I realized for the 82nd time this week, how different I am with creating money.
I add houses and trips and classes to my life before I ever have the money.
And then I create to have them.
Now, I'm not yet rolling out my course on financial awareness, because there are MANY aspects of this money thing that I am still learning and choosing and creating for myself.
But creating money seems to be something I've been good at and keep getting better at - and today, during a conversation with a client this morning, I really got what this thing is I do and "why" it works.
It seems a little backwards.
I use it ALL the time.
It's an every 10 seconds sort of choosing thing that keeps me in touch with what I really want.
Have you ever had the thought that your life would be so easy if there weren't other people in it?
Have you wondered "how" to create the relationship you truly desire?
This live Facebook conversation was so vibrant!
Some of the questions we covered:
I hardly know where to start with this post.
Except that it has to be written.
There have many hours in the last three days, sitting and scrolling through Facebook - getting stuck on this person's and that person's live feed, watching the show-down that is Standing Rock right now.
It's not even the only thing that's occuring in the world right now, and yet it seems to be the thing I can't ignore.
My friend Melanie Clampit is on the ground there, right now.
When she told me of her choice to go, my whole world got tense.
We call that a "wedge" in Access Consciousness lingo. Someone chooses something or challenges you with something you never even considered choosing before, and all of a sudden your world is wedged.
Mine has been wedged since that day. (thank you, Melanie!)
So, here's what I'm getting from all of this, that maybe will contribute to you.
1. I can't NOT do anything any more.
There was something about Mr. Trump getting elected as president that...
I never would have thought that 2 lamps, 2 end tables, 2 chairs and a room clean-up would change what I was able to create in the world.
But holy shit.
Lemme back up and tell you some of the backstory.
I recently got back from a trip to Paris.
While I was in Paris, people kept asking me about the new house.
(I have a new house.)
(And I was at a class. Where people who've never met me but see my social media, were.)
And I kept hearing coming out of my mouth the words and the energy of, "Meh, it's ok."
Which is actually ridiculous, because this house is anything but Meh.
However, it IS big. And we did move into it with very little furniture. And it turns out the heat has been broken, which means it's been cold.
For Christel, this is a Grade A combo for high-energy "Meh" comments.
So, I started hearing myself, and one day really started asking myself "what it would take" to make it feel FUN to live here.
And I realized two things:
1. I was missing...
There's been something I've known my whole life.
I didn't know that I knew it.
I saw it in lilacs.
I smelled it in the air.
I saw it when I stared at the sun on my purple mountain majesty.
When I got older, I felt it when the lone piano would start to play a song that caused the whole congregation to sway.
And in all of my cells as the 200 people around me burst into the same song.
I perceived it in the way the stranger came up beside us, opened up his car door to rescue our young, American bodies from the Chinese throng when we were so obviously scared and lost.
I saw it in the drawings of Brian Andreas.
And in the words of Anita Moorjani.
I found it again in Eat, Pray, Love, and kept following Elizabeth Gilbert as her words painted my internal pictures.
I tripped over it again in the freed words of Rob Bell.
And then I forgot about them.
Until the day I went to an Energetic Synthesis of Being class with Dain Heer.
Every five minutes I was in tears as I recognized everything I'd...
I wrote you a love letter with lots of links. It will be like you subscribed to Netflix but with my face all over it.