Tips & Tricks for Making Big Life Changes.

How to handle big change.

My partner and I just moved ourselves from Canada to Panama, and holy crap - it's been intense! 
Many people take intensity or things not being easy as a sign that a choice is 'not meant to be', but what if intensity wasn't a sign of wrongness?  What if there were ways to know that what you were choosing was going to create more, regardless of the feelings or the intensity involved?
The mantra of Access is 'all of life comes to me with ease, joy, & glory®'.  Not 'all of life will be easy' but that all that it is and turns out to be, can come to you with ease.
(Try this 10 times in the morning and 10 times at night and see how your life changes!)
The reason I start with that is that when you're making a choice that you KNOW will create more, it can still be intense. Ours was. And so you have to know. You have to have your own back in your choice and keep choosing in the direction that you're aware of will create a greater future.

How can you know if a choice will create a greater future?

The first tool that I was ever introduced to from a facilitator was light and heavy. When something is light and expands your sense of space & possibility, it's true for you.  When something is heavy and contracts your sense of space, it's not true for you.
It's incredibly simple.  But when you start to apply it, you discover something staggering: you always know what's true and what's not. Your first language is energy, and you always know. 
The second tool I was given to know whether or not a choice would create a greater future was, "What will my life be like in 5 years if I choose this?  What will my life be like in 5 years if I don't choose this?" to get a sense of the future that choice will create. (Much more on this in the Foundation class! Check out when my next one is here.
We are not taught to look at the energy of our future when we make a choice; we're taught to judge and decide about whether or not that choice is right or wrong. But if you start to pay attention and then follow what is light for you, everything will become greater, even if you can't predict what this is going to look like.
All of that being said: going through transformative life changes can still be pretty intense! So, this is to give you what was supposed to be a small list, but turned into a comprehensive list of tips and tools you can use to have more ease in the process. 
  1. Give yourself more space than you think you need. 
  2. Don't be afraid to start an OCD system of organizing yourself.
  3. Don't be a slave to ANY choice.
  4. Include time and space to care for your body in the process as much as you are able.
  5. Include in your process the awareness of the futures you're changing and creating by making this choice.
  6. Choose more space. You are in a big change.
  7. If you have a partner, get that your partner is going through different things than you are.
  8. When in doubt, drink it out! 
  9. Do not try to force yourself to be the same as before the change.
  10. Schedule the important dates and the not-to-forget things.
  11. Schedule backwards.
  12. Enlist as much support as you can.
  13. Don't make money an issue.

#1 Give yourself more space than you think you need. 

Ok, so you chose it!  Awesome!  Now comes the rest of it: the actualization and institution of all the parts and pieces to make the change a reality.  

Starting anything that is affecting a lot more futures than you can articulate or get a cognitive sense of has a lot of awareness that goes with it: It's important to give yourself space. More than you think is reasonable or that you need.

A lot more things will come up than you had expected. The overwhelm you are feeling is mostly awareness of all the things in front of you.  

ASK YOURSELF: Am I aware of more than I'm acknowledging here? What's required of me and what would it take to have more ease?

#2 Don't be afraid to start an OCD system of organizing yourself.

I already use the ClickUp to organize my team and my business, so the fact that I ended up using it to organize the mess in my head re: the move isn't a huge shock. 

You use whatever works for you.

What you've got to get is: If you don't find a way to get clarity on the 'everything' that requires your attention, you'll leave yourself in a foggy state of overwhelm, and that ain't fun for anyone.

So create whatever OCD system YOU need to clarify the things. 

ASK YOURSELF: Is there a system I could use to support me with this choice? Is there anything I need to change? Start? Stop? 

#3 Don't be a slave to ANY choice.

Here's the weird thing: just after you create that system, don't be afraid to abandon it in favor of simpler choices. I did start with something super detailed: a detailed item-by-item list on ClickUp, but as I got more of a sense of the requirement of every item, I realized that I needed an easier way.

Sometimes you might think you are starting a system for one thing and then it turns out to be that something else is required. 

So after you've created your OCD version of the overview that will give you clarity, don't be afraid to let all of that go again. None of this is set in stone. If you make anything a system or a structure, it can't change. Let every choice be malleable.

A plan is only good for 10 seconds. Use whatever system that works for you and will give you more insight into what has to be done next. Set dates, make choices, and always stay present to what is going on in the moment. What's required now?

With every situation or choice: Look at it and ask: What will my life be like in 5 years if I choose this? What choice will have the most movement and the most ease? 

Gary Douglas (the founder of Access  Consciousness) talks about the universe being a configurator of possibilities. We choose, and the universe contributes the most elegant way for everything to show up, in ways we cannot predict or imagine.  

KEY POINT: Don't make yourself wrong for any of the choices you do make, because you needed whatever awareness that came from that choice. Choice creates awareness and opens the door to other choices. You actually gain access to more choices after making the ones that get turned around. Get that you needed that information and move on. 

#4 Include time and space to care for your body in the process as much as you are able.

Apparently, moving is number 2 on the list of the most stressful life events (or something like that!) I had no idea and definitely didn't include care for my body like I could have.

Big changes can be ease, and they can be intense for your body because you're handling MUCH more than you even know. There are so many pieces to this puzzle that are below the surface or involve a lot more than is cognitive. 

So take care for your body as much as possible.

#5 Include in your process the awareness of the futures you're changing and creating by making this choice.

Here's the weird thing about big choices: you are actualizing a LOT of futures. And, if you don't acknowledge what you are creating, affecting, and changing on a moment-by-moment basis, you could feel more f*cked up than you've ever felt in your life.


When you pause to acknowledge what is, the process gets easier. 

Ask this: Am I allowing myself to be aware of everything that is actually occurring?

Include your awareness of the future by asking yourself and getting a sense of what's truly occurring.

#6 Choose more space.

Realize you are in a big change. You will likely not be able to handle your daily life in the same way that you could before the change. Your workload has just increased by a factor of 100 and so has your awareness of everything that's changing.

Allow yourself to have more space.

What can you let go of?
What can you add?

Can you add babysitters?
Moving services?
Access Bars® & bodywork? 

Come up with as many things as you can choose (including wildly taking advantage of friends and family) and choose it.

Give yourself more space to handle everything that you need to handle right now. The more you can do things from relaxation, the better and easier everything will be.

#7 If you have a partner, get that your partner is going through different things than you are.

Your processes are different. Let them be different. You are two individuals going through a joint experience. They will be dealing with a whole different set of things. 

Talk about what is going on for you, if you can. But most importantly, add more allowance, not less.

Allowance is different than acceptance and it's where everything is just an interesting point of view. You are the rock in the stream, if you are allowance, and nothing sweeps you away. 

They are having their own set of awareness and going through different changes: give both of you the space to have your own process.

#8 When in doubt, drink it out!

I'm not even kidding. 

This is an intense time.

Have a drink. Use float tanks. Go on walks. Have sex. Get massages. Eat and drink Incredible food & cocktails. Have single malts. Everything you can choose to nurture you, have it.

ASK: What will contribute to more ease and relaxation?

#9 Do not try to force yourself to be the 'same you' before the change.

This choice has changed you. You are different now. Nothing will function the same way it did before this choice, and if you keep going back to try and find reference points for the way things were, you'll make yourself crazy.

Let the space you're in be new. You're new. This is new. What's possible now?

TRY THIS TOOL. Say: I destroy and uncreate all my projections, expectations, separations, judgments, and rejections of myself, my partner, my relationship, the choice, and whatever else there is.  

Then do the Access Consciousness Clearing Statement: Right and wrong, good and bad, all 9, poc and pod, shorts boys and beyonds. 

Every day you are a new person. Every day you can ask: 
Who am I today and what needs my attention?

#10 Schedule the important dates and the not-to-forget things.

This is a trick I use to 'not forget things'.

In truth, the important stuff will continue banging on your head energetically.  But you can also trust you: if you know that if you don't write it down, it won't occur - schedule it!  And then check into your schedule daily to see if what you scheduled is truly required.

The trick here, again, is not to use your schedule as a Bible you have to stick to but as a 'pinging tool'.  Meaning, you put it there because in this moment you're sure it needs to be there.  And when you get there, you look at it and see if it's required or if something else is. 

#11 Schedule backwards.

Start with the things that you know have to be done by a deadline and work backwards for what needs to be handled.

In our case, we were navigating pre-steps to obtaining our residency in Panama while liquidating our residency in Canada. There were many many things we needed to not miss in leaving one country and entering another. 

So, again with the calendar: put not-missable deadlines in there and work backwards in time for what needs to occur to accomplish those things.

#12 Enlist as much support as you can.

This is definitely the third time I've said this, but I don't think I can say it enough:

Add to your life to have more ease during this big change!

Add (new) friends, porters, concierges, valets, business class, nice hotels: the more ease you're willing to have, the more ease you'll have.

Recognize that there are lots of people to support you. Again, you are handling a lot of things!

Would you be willing to have more ease? Who or what can you add to your life to have it? 

#13 Don't make money an issue.

I have made MANY big life changes on a shoestring budget. You CAN do it.

However, regardless of the amount of money you have or don't have: don't make money the determining factor.

Here's how you do that.  For every choice you have in front of you, ask yourself: if money wasn't the issue, what would I choose?

See what choices expose themselves as what you would truly choose!  And then you can say, Universe, I'll have that. What would it take for the money to show up?

Your choices now are creating the future you'll have tomorrow.

Every choice you make creates a different future. The ones you're making now will be the future you have tomorrow.

What choices do you have today to move your life forward in dynamic ways? 

Just get that when making these choices, everything can seem and be more intense than usual. Hopefully these tips will make it easier!

Take care of you. Be kind. To you.

You're a gift to everything that's possible.


What is next?

  • If you are curious and want to follow my new life in Panama, you can follow me on Instagram.
  • If you would like to be a part of the daily clearing sessions my partner and I are doing all through this big change you can go here.
  • If you want more you can always book a private session with me here.
  • To have more ease with not letting money be an issue with the big choices you are making you can go to my shop here.

Have you tried this challenge?

Gary Douglas, the founder of Access Consciousness® gave us one clearing to use 30 times a day for 30 days, and it's changing lives!! I've called it The Awareness Challenge, and ll you have to do to try it out is jump in.

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