Learn to trust the journey, even when you do not understand.

Long read ahead. Grab a coffee.

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I need to speak something to you.

I've been wrangling with it, conflicted about it, saying it but not saying it - but now is the time. And it's simple. But it's deeply changing.

For the last three months, there has been a deep journey.

The last 10 years has been all Access Consciousness. I've loved every minute of it. It saved my life and grew me up. It taught me how to choose and empowered me.

it was what you could choose from, receive from, drink from out of my mouth.

Me, yes, but mostly, my take on the tools.

What's happening now is, your girl is growing up. Access empowered me to know, go out, and create the world I want to see.

And I am finally choosing it.

I'm flexing my new muscles.

Informed by and contributed to by Access Consciousness. And wholly and completely... me, I am pulling from all over the universe. Instituting the pieces as they become clear.

I AM an Access Consciousness facilitator.

And, I'm me.

Before, I was one of many. A part of the Aspen tree clump.

Now, I am one. Connected as energy, but planted in my own garden, searching for my own nutrients. I am informed by and a part of Access but no longer one of the herd.

What I'm stretching for has nothing to do with leaving Access. Or having a story about Access. It has to do with something I'm aware of and my demand that I "find" the me in all this.

If Access went away tomorrow, who would I be? Who am I? What do I offer? What am I about? If people found me, what would they find?

I am mystyfied by my own process. It feels like it should have a grand story behind it. I can see in people's eyes wondering what happened.

What happened was, I succeeded. I took a big loan, considered quitting, didn't quit, paid off the loan - and the moment I paid it off, I was done.

Done with small classes. Done with dragging myself all over the earth on my dime. Done with how I had created so far. Done with different energies and ways of treating people that don't work for me anymore. Done with a particular culture.

I got done with the way I was creating my life. I had created a runaway train that I had to jump off.

And I can't tell you when traveling turned into dragging. Or when involvement in different projects became draining. I can't pinpoint the exact moments that everything turned.

But they turned.

I've jumped off.

I am "for" a different way of living now. A different way of money coming in. A different kind of business leading to a very different future.

And I want it so much that my whole life is changing in front of me.

Why do I tell you all this?

Because you're on this ride with me, here. You have been a part of my journey so far. You have supported me and paid me for things. You've allowed me into your life.

And you don't have to stay with me.

But if you do (and I hope you do), you will experience every iteration and experimentation of what this new era is like.

Songwriters get to take years off between albums to go live their lives and write good stuff out of it. JLo took twenty.

Digital creators (like me) get no time off for reinvention. We never know we're going to need it. We don't plan for it.

And so, the reinvention takes place in the midst of everything else that a business needs to do to continue in the world.

I'm reinventing like a motherfucker.

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I need to hear from you.

If you would like an insider's seat to the process, I'd love to know.

If you would like off, you can quietly unsubscribe.

If you would like to tell me things, please do.

Regardless, I'm here. And we're going forward into new lands, with Access but not AS Access.

I have no idea what that will look like, but I can promise that it will be life-changing.

Who are we today and what grand and glorious adventures can we have? ✨