Famously Flirtatious: A Modern Person's Guide to the MultiVerse of Online Dating
Dating:
Wherein a person goes on a series of outings with other people, some involving sex and some not, in order to have a fuck-ton of fun, flirt incessantly, and learn a lot about themselves and create the reality she or he knows she (or he) would like to have.
AND SO TO BEGIN
I have been a flirt and a tease for as long as I can remember. I don’t remember much of my childhood, but I’ve seen pictures, and if my big-assed grin is any indication of anything, I learned I could use it.
I actually love the definition of flirting: to behave amorously without serious intent.
Stop.making.dating.significant. Do NOT make dating significant. It is just that: Dating.
Dating is flirting. For the sake of flirting. To see what’s possible. To see what is fun. To not put any pressure or point of view in the mix. To discover. To play.
Now, sometimes I flirted my way into results that I didn’t much care for. As you’ll hear and learn later in this book - choice creates awareness.
But for the most part I’ve used flirting as an easy way to create, well, ease. People love being seen, acknowledged.
For most of the rest of the world, dating is a means to a different end. There are projections and expectations galore.
As soon as I changed it to the adventure of discovering my reality - well, it got fun.
Look - I know “do NOT make dating significant” flies in the face of everything you’ve ever been told about dating, but that’s ok. There’s a lot of things we’ve been told about a lot of things that make a lot of things really significant. And they haven’t worked for us that way. Let it fly.
Dating needs to be about the adventure of discovering more of you. If it IS that, you’ll never be disappointed. Even when the guy that you had such great rapport with over the phone is sitting in front of you not eating while you have the best sushi on the planet and gets totally offended at something you say, almost walks out, and then dumps you at your door -- you’ll never have a bad date.
The third thing to say is dating also needs to be about what you desire to create or at least, the exploration of what you desire to create.
What IS your relationship reality? Do you know? Or do you require more information?
Now, NOBODY tells you to even wonder about these things. (Hidden covert tool number one.) But I’m telling you, unless you start wondering - and I do mean ACTUALLY wondering (hidden covert tool number two) - you’ll be creating your dating and relationship reality from someone else’s twisted point of view.
Maybe your Aunt Mabel’s. Who never had any luck with the fellas until she met Uncle Steve. And stayed married until he died. And only because he died first.
Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Not the being married part - the part where you don’t ever wonder about YOU.
Trust me: If you think your relationship reality might be being a “third” in a newly polyamorous situation where everything is “open” and you get invited to a full-on conversation with the girlfriend who is not only not into it but openly hating you while we’re all “talking”, you’ll quickly discover what works for you.
There is no arena like dating to discover the truth in the phrase: Choice creates awareness.
I want you to note that that phrase does NOT read: Choice creates a soul mate.
Or choice creates the man/woman of my dreams.
Or choice creates me having the best sex of my life.
CHOICE CREATES AWARENESS.
I only write that in all caps so that you can dog ear this page and come back to it after that one date where you begin to remember that you forgot everything you know, and that somewhere you have a book that will get you back to being you again.
Hello, again :)
So, where do you even start with online dating?
And if you liked that, you're sure to like the rest. Click. Read. Change. Play. EnJOY.
xo, ~C
