What if endings were a beginning?

change endings Jun 14, 2018

I heard Gary Douglas use the phrase once, 'the gift of decay'.

And it struck me in a way few things had.

Having spent five full years as a landscape designer, I'd spent my fair share of them somewhere down in the dirt.  They were my favorite hours, bringing to life the lines on a page I'd drawn in an office somewhere, and getting to feel my hands in the cool dirt and taste the richness of Earth as it entered through my nose across my tongue.

That earth, that dirt, was a blend of dead things.  Bugs, leaves, branches, roots, things I've yet to name.  And the more in it that was already dead, the richer it became.

I never thought to compare myself and my life to dirt until today.

Yesterday, I spent a fair bit of the day looking for where I was wrong in changing all the things, and one in particular, until my sweet friend looked at me and called me out on it.

"You keep looking for where you're wrong!"

She was right.  

As much as I'd facilitated everyone and...

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