I suppose I'm maybe going through a mid-life crisis of sorts.
I have tears streaming down my face.
I just watched this:
I don't know what's going on with me lately.
I feel like I'm pulling away from the champagne bubbles of all the traveling and drinking prosecco and the jet-setting I was doing.
There is a huge gratitude I have right now for being home.
And since I've been home, there's been Standing Rock, and now Aleppo... and I've been faced with some really big questions.
I walked around this morning wondering what it was I truly wanted to create with my life.
With my willingness to let all the travel go temporarily, I wondered what else I could choose that I'd never considered.
My freshest thoughts being I could go to Aleppo, I thought! I could be a volunteer!
I could go to the refugee camps and run Bars and help coordinate aid.
And as I sit here writing this, with tears streaming, I'm destroying and uncreating everywhere I've been the war-monger. Everywhere...
"Living well and spending less."
When I was posting this video and tagging it, I found that tag.
And after pausing incredulously, I realized for the 82nd time this week, how different I am with creating money.
I add houses and trips and classes to my life before I ever have the money.
And then I create to have them.
Now, I'm not yet rolling out my course on financial awareness, because there are MANY aspects of this money thing that I am still learning and choosing and creating for myself.
But creating money seems to be something I've been good at and keep getting better at - and today, during a conversation with a client this morning, I really got what this thing is I do and "why" it works.
It seems a little backwards.
I use it ALL the time.
It's an every 10 seconds sort of choosing thing that keeps me in touch with what I really want.
Have you ever had the thought that your life would be so easy if there weren't other people in it?
Have you wondered "how" to create the relationship you truly desire?
This live Facebook conversation was so vibrant!
Some of the questions we covered:
I hardly know where to start with this post.
Except that it has to be written.
There have many hours in the last three days, sitting and scrolling through Facebook - getting stuck on this person's and that person's live feed, watching the show-down that is Standing Rock right now.
It's not even the only thing that's occuring in the world right now, and yet it seems to be the thing I can't ignore.
My friend Melanie Clampit is on the ground there, right now.
When she told me of her choice to go, my whole world got tense.
We call that a "wedge" in Access Consciousness lingo. Someone chooses something or challenges you with something you never even considered choosing before, and all of a sudden your world is wedged.
Mine has been wedged since that day. (thank you, Melanie!)
So, here's what I'm getting from all of this, that maybe will contribute to you.
1. I can't NOT do anything any more.
There was something about Mr. Trump getting elected as president that...
I never would have thought that 2 lamps, 2 end tables, 2 chairs and a room clean-up would change what I was able to create in the world.
But holy shit.
Lemme back up and tell you some of the backstory.
I recently got back from a trip to Paris.
While I was in Paris, people kept asking me about the new house.
(I have a new house.)
(And I was at a class. Where people who've never met me but see my social media, were.)
And I kept hearing coming out of my mouth the words and the energy of, "Meh, it's ok."
Which is actually ridiculous, because this house is anything but Meh.
However, it IS big. And we did move into it with very little furniture. And it turns out the heat has been broken, which means it's been cold.
For Christel, this is a Grade A combo for high-energy "Meh" comments.
So, I started hearing myself, and one day really started asking myself "what it would take" to make it feel FUN to live here.
And I realized two things:
1. I was missing...
There's been something I've known my whole life.
I didn't know that I knew it.
I saw it in lilacs.
I smelled it in the air.
I saw it when I stared at the sun on my purple mountain majesty.
When I got older, I felt it when the lone piano would start to play a song that caused the whole congregation to sway.
And in all of my cells as the 200 people around me burst into the same song.
I perceived it in the way the stranger came up beside us, opened up his car door to rescue our young, American bodies from the Chinese throng when we were so obviously scared and lost.
I saw it in the drawings of Brian Andreas.
And in the words of Anita Moorjani.
I found it again in Eat, Pray, Love, and kept following Elizabeth Gilbert as her words painted my internal pictures.
I tripped over it again in the freed words of Rob Bell.
And then I forgot about them.
Until the day I went to an Energetic Synthesis of Being class with Dain Heer.
Every five minutes I was in tears as I recognized everything I'd...
I saw clip on Facebook yesterday of a guy getting pulled out of his car and beaten on by like 6 teenage kids because he voted for Trump.
Now, I don’t know how they found out he voted for Trump. It all seemed a little random. But I watched as a few beat on him and he tried to get away, and then more jumped in while the others were filming.
It was like the beating beget more beating and fueled more beating.
It was weird for me to watch because that’s so far from my world. And also weird because I’m not necessarily against beating.
Let’s be honest: sometimes it’s required. We all know people that need a good beating.
But it was the energy that they were being.
And I just knew what I would have done if I was there.
That shit would have stopped.
I would have pulled out my energetic shotgun, grabbed whichever people around me I knew would help me stop it, and run into the fray. Not because the guy that voted for Trump was right and the people beating on him...
I LOVE driving fast. I always have.
I'm a weaver. I get super impatient at slow drivers, and if I'm honest, I drive more like a cab driver than I ever admit out loud.
I was a waitress for over 20 years.
I was terrible when it was slow. I would forget things, and people.
But when we were slammed out of our brains, with people crawling everywhere, I was the best server in town. And on the nights when I was willing to get into the groove with what was going on, it was like everything slowed into slow motion, and there was just... flow.
So, here's what I learned about myself in business -- I do business better fast, with more on the go.
Hence, the first in my series of 6 rebel business secrets: do it all.
If it matches the energy, choose it.
Don't focus. Or narrow it down.
Broaden 'it'. Add. Choose more of what's fun for you.
I know we're taught that doing more is overwhelming. Puts us out of whack and out of...
I spent so much of my life trying to be cool enough, or hot enough, or put together enough to get what I wanted, or what I thought I wanted in relationships.
It turns out I only needed to be more of.... all of.... me.
But I really had no idea how to do that before Access Consciousness.
I remember sitting at the desk I was working at, saying out loud: There HAS to be a way to be happy without having to see a professional 3 times a week.
Three times a week.
That's how many appointments I needed with someone to just stay even keel.
To not want to cry myself to sleep.
Or fight with my husband.
Or want to kill everyone in sight from the stress of it all.
I was on suppliments, meditation, journaling, nutrition, working out, and it was helping some, but just some.
Until Access. And the tools. And me using them like a fiend to get my life to finally work for me.
So, here's what I think everyone should know about being you:
I was a guest blogger on the Access Consciousness blog recently, because, well, I had a lot of say on this topic! :D
What if your life wasn't just a pain in the ass - but could be the source of learning every tool you need?
Here's an amazing blog, in case not having arguments would be more fun for you, too.