What's your easiest choice with money? Some? None? Less than that?

money Jul 02, 2018

I've been sort of walking around the house the last couple of days wondering about a person's easiest choice. 

Any person's. 

It's a phrase that Stephanie threw out there like it was everyday conversation a few months ago, and it's just been rolling around in my world.

"What's his easiest choice?"

"What's my easiest choice?"

It's a question where you 'want' to think that the answer to it is something 'good' but where the answer is usually something more along the lines of unhappiness.  Anger.  Poverty.  Despair.  Failure.

When I first started looking there, I truly didn't want to know what mine or anyone elses' easiest choices were.

Ugh!  Brutal!  Who wants to know that stuff?!

You can't un-see stuff after you see it and what was I going to do with all that awareness??

And anyway - isn't 'being positive' and 'asking for the possibilities' what we want to do here?

For what reason would we spend any time looking at all that "negative" shit?

Well, what I've been discovering is that I've spent most of my life not wanting to look at the good, the bad AND the ugly. 

I've avoided looking at the ugly for fear that it's true.  That I am actually more fucked up than I think I am.  That I am a disaster walking, really, and if I finally see that, everything will fall apart.

All lies, but all feeling really, really true.

I also finally discovered that it was the avoidance of looking at the ugly that had been keeping me from having all the choices I could truly have in every moment.

So, when I got right down to it and looked at it, got present and honest with myself, I was proving a whole bunch of stuff.

  • Money was hard & I had to work for it & if I didn't work for it, then I couldn't have it.
  • Everything was harder for me than anyone else.
  • Happiness wasn't even possibly 'just a choice'
  • Relationships had to be a struggle.
  • You couldn't just 'ask' for what you want.
  • on
  • and on
  • and on
  • and on

The weirdest part was, as I got present with what I was trying to prove (which is what you have to do with any fixed point of view), what was actually true was almost always the opposite of what I was working so hard to prove!

  • Money is actually easy for me and shows up when I ask for it.
  • Everything's easier for me than I want to admit.
  • Happiness is actually my easiest choice, even though I told myself it was sadness & frustration for 18 billion years.
  • Relationships - their end, their beginning and the creation of them - was like breathing for me.
  • Asking was how I functioned and I did it a lot.

I mean, when Gary says "Everything's the opposite of what it appears to be, and nothing's the opposite of what it appears to be," he is correct!!

And so that got me wondering three things:

  1. What was I truly committed to with those points of view?
  2. Was I willing to give up those commitments and play with being committed to creating something greater than I'd created yesterday?
  3. And what could I choose on a moment by moment basis that would give me more choice of possibilities than I had ever let myself have before.

Hence, this week's show: Make it Rain, Money Gods.  ­čśü

You may not be ready to get down and dirty and honest with yourself.  And that's okay.  It takes a lot of courage and a lot of willingness to use the tools as you get present.

And you may be ready.

"Interesting point of view I have that point of view."

"Who does that belong to anyway?  Me?  Someone else?"

For those of you that are ready, this show's for you.

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