there was never anything more awkward

Uncategorized Nov 15, 2018
He kept telling me I was wonderful. πŸ™„
 
At a time when I "felt" particularly un-wonderful.
 
Less than wonderful.
Terrible.
Shitty.
Fucked.
Nothing-good-about-me-ever-NO.
 
And the next morning, when he said it again I looked over at him with my most intense
 
Fuck-ME-You're-the-stupidest-person-on-the-planet-go-DIE look.
 
He just sat there and grinned.
 
Like a fucking puppy.
 
He might as well have been wagging his tail and panting in my general direction
 
And I looked back over to the steering wheel and finally heard myself.
 
I wasn't willing to receive any of it, at ALL.
 
He was beaming at me and I was wishing him dead.
 
Thankfully, for the world πŸ˜‚, that month I was in the middle of about 4 live Access classes, and that morning, I got up to the microphone to ask about this 'wonderful' thing.
 
"Gary, I realized I haven't been receiving this at all!! How do I... what do I... what does it take to...."
 
And he went:
 
"Yea it's really hard: ask the universe to show you the wonderful-ness of you."
 
And he went on to the next person.
 
I walked back to my chair in a sort of daze, and began.
 
🌿 🌿🌿
 
It's been a year of really asking.
 
Universe, show me the greatness of me. The wonderfulness of me. The gift that I am.
 
It's been up and down and sideways and sometimes it's required me to have my back in a way I wasn't expecting and receive from the people around me in ways I didn't know I could.
 
But what's opening up is a kindness for me I didn't know could be ☺️
 
And an ease of committing to the energies I came here to create.
 
You won't ever know, with your head, what it's going to take to get you to where you're going.
 
But you'll always lead yourself there.
 
🌿 🌿🌿
 
In every moment, you get to choose how you treat you.
 
And being mean to you slows everything down and makes everything harder.
 
What did you come here to create?
 
Do you require you along for the ride to do that?
 
And what can you begin to choose to ask... today?
 

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