What would you like to change?

Uncategorized May 23, 2018
The thing about starting to create your life is that no one can validate it for you.
Does creating *your* life ever feel like staring at a blank white wall that you've just been told that you can do *anything* with?
I have some very strange friends who think that is fun
But for a LONG time, I DREADED that blank wall.
I filled my time w/ jobs that I could both resist and follow, relationships that were at least predictable and safe, uniforms that gave me the one colour I knew was okay to wear....
SO many things that would give me the permission to not-choose.
The thing is that the longer I go - the more I travel - the more 'blank' the wall gets and the more I'm getting that all it takes to 'fill' it is to choose in that moment.
And then it clears itself and the next moment, I get to choose again.
And as we go, all of those choices create the future... and my life.
I had a really...
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the most epic money question ever

money May 09, 2018

I saw my mother for the first time in awhile yesterday.

And I went into it ready to... whatever!

But definitely ready to use the tools.

And one of the things I've been really practicing, when I'm around these super trigger-ish people for me, is staying in and having and choosing, my reality.

Now, that is an interesting practice, as my reality isn't solid or one thing, and it has nothing to do with stating my truth or any of that stuff.

It's an energetic practice, most of all.

A practice where I don't go into their head or their world, trying to find out where I'm wrong.

You know that moment?  When their face goes a little funny or the energy of the whatever changes, and all of a sudden you're in there, trying to sort out 'what went wrong'?

Which is always, always, always the place where you're trying to find what YOU did wrong?

Yea.  I stayed out of that.

And what I really practiced was just being with them.  Just as they are.  And being interesting point of...

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People can be dicks.

Uncategorized Apr 18, 2018
 Let's just say it.
And in Access, we talk a lot about being 'interesting point of view'.
Having allowance.
Being willing to be everything required to have what we desire.
We speak about when you resist and react to someone you are sticking in place a point of view just as dynamically as when you align and agree, and all of that takes you out of any kind of choice.
And yea yea yea, all of that is well and good -- UNTIL YOU'RE IN IT.
With the person.
Face to face with how they be in the world and how they treat people that you have POINTS OF VIEW about.
On top of that, a lot of us have come from abuse in our childhoods and have gotten to the point where THIS THING is no longer acceptable on our watch. And FUCK YOU if you're doing it.
I won't put up with it.
I won't tolerate it.
I will LEAVE YOU if you do it.
And wow. I get it.
And I used to...
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Is being nice killing all the good stuff? (read, you?!)

nice Apr 02, 2018


My life changes all the time.

I change clothes, underwear, points of view... and people.

I happen to have been with the same man for almost a year and a half now!  But even in the man department, there was awhile where two weeks was a long time.

We're in the process of changing some very key every-day relationships.

The thing that was working has stopped working, and we're in the breaking up phase: not exactly able to move on from our physically proxitive situation, and not incredibly interested (read, not at all) in relating to one another.

I can't tell you exactly what changed it.  Just more that, after a thing, it did.  Change.

And for me, it's been a few months of getting a whole TON more clarity on what is.

What is for me.  What is in regards to them. 

Seeing the is-ness instead of seeing the projection that someone else wants you to see or that I'd rather see.

So, you know - good, bad and ugly.

And this morning, after a 10-second interchange...

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the more I give away the more I make

business Feb 11, 2018

It was early when I opened her email this morning.

I recognized her email address from a comment that I'd received on my YouTube video the other day.  She was - is - a beautiful creator.  

Hi Christel!

I'm new to you, but have been enjoying some of your YouTube videos over the last couple of days.  One of those videos are your business accelerator.

Anyway, I wonder what your thought is related to offering too much free information out in the world - you do SoundCloud, a radio show, FB videos, youtube videos and so on - so that you're giving it all away and therefore not attracting people to sign up, because they're filled with all the free information offered?

I smiled when I read it and then answered with one line: 

The more I give away, the more I make.

Everything is the opposite of what it appears to be and nothing is the opposite of what it appears to be.

The more I do business my way the more I get how weird it is.  How weird I am. How...

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How to set up a successful internet service-based business.

business Jan 21, 2018


My dad had one room in our house that was his.  And it had a lock on it. 

In that room was his computer.

We weren't an outside family.  Or at least, the four of us older ones weren't. 

All of us - my dad, mom, me and my brother would keep ourselves busy indoors.  I took every opportunity I could to cuddle up in a corner somewhere and bury my nose and world in a book.  My mom would take care of kids, teach piano lessons and run errands. And he would lock himself in his computer room.

The lock made that room the one room I wanted to be in more than anything.

When the door was open, I'd watch him work. 

He coded things.  I have no idea in what language.  The coding wasn't that interesting to me.  What was interesting to me was the feel and sound of those keys.  And the idea that you could create stuff out of them.

He had a few games on there that he would let me and my brother play.  The one with the paddle and the ball...

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you can’t create a million dollars like me

business Jan 16, 2018

I am always looking at different online programs to add to what I'm creating online.  To educate myself.  Etc.

And today, I had this Facebook Messenger interview with a lady who runs a program, who says they can help me double my profits and half the effort.


I look at a lot of these programs. I've even purchased some of them!

And so at this point, they have to have a different kind of energy to them for me to choose them, and this one did.

Everything was going spaciously until she started to ask me questions.

HER: So the first question I have for you is pretty straightforward. What's going on in your business that made it important for you to take the time to chat with me today? What’s so broken and in need of fixing that it couldn’t wait?

Egads.  I could see the agenda from a million miles away.

Really??  We were doing this? 

I just couldn’t.

ME: Ahhh. Well, in truth - it’s not broken. I love my business. AND,...

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when being self-centered is the kindest thing you can choose

Uncategorized Nov 25, 2017

Two days ago, I sent off a message that changed something I had been putting off changing for.... a while.

I had all kinds of reasons for putting it off.

I had all kinds of benefits from continuing to choose it that I would lose once I made a different choice, and all I had to do to keep those benefits coming in was choose to do more stuff that really wasn't that hard for me.

Truly, there were all the logical reasons for it not to change.

But when I asked the question: What would my life and future be like in the next 5 years if I changed it?  It was incredibly light to change it.  

This is the thing about following your awareness of the different future you know: it don't make no freaking sense.  And on the outside it can seem... unkind.  Self-centered.

I've been spending a lot of time lately looking at what I've been creating with my life. And then even more time looking at what I'd really like to be choosing. 

I'd never looked at it so...

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pudgy chubby thin thigh gap voluptuous and everything in between

body freedom Sep 19, 2017

**after a Maestro class in Rome 2017

Body weight or more specifically, the needing to lose more of it, has been a conversation in our family for as long as I can remember.

My mom started her twenties with a baby, and after the birth of each one of us, there was always the post-baby weight conversation.

She gained more with this one and it was harder to lose after that one.

I literally can't even remember a moment where there wasn't a weight conversation.

I started going to Weight Watchers when I was like 14 because she did, and I thought it would be good to learn about this stuff now instead I was waiting until I was old like her.

Besides I'd always had a belly.  I remember seeing pictures of myself at like 8 years old with my 8 year old belly sticking out and feeling jealous that my sister's never seemed to do that.

And so I learned about vegetables being 'zero points' and things like Wendy's burgers being just enough points to work and fit into a day as long as you ate 'zero...

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How to Know if a Relationship Isn't Working For You

relationship freedom Feb 15, 2017

The possibility of relationship is well, possible.  However, a lot of us have gotten into a lot of "sticky" with our current relationships, and that's what I'd like to speak to. 

This post is not about criticizing the person you're with.  This is about knowing you.

See, for YEARS, I had no idea what worked for me.  In fact, I would say I'm in the ongoing, active discovery of it still.  

Prior to my Access Consciousness years, I was in two marriages back to back to eachtother, and in both relationships, the other person was wrong for different reasons.  I felt like a sh*t for being upset all the time, but my reality was that I was upset all the time!

But let's look at upset objectively for a second.  Put on your scientist glasses and let's discect it for a minute.

Upset is always a creation and it can be composed of multiple things.  

It can be: 

  • projections and expectations
  • decisions, judgments, computations, and conclusions
  • ...
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